Saturday, January 21, 2006

Ask her (paca)

So scrawled along the sidewalks all over campus this week we have the words "Ask Her" in chalk. I thought, "hmmmm... maybe it is a campaign against date rape." You know, telling people to make sure you communicate before getting it on to make sure it is mutual. Yeah, ok. Then I saw written "Have you asked her?" I thought, "hmmm... I am not sure that makes sense with my consentual sex theory anymore. If I should have already asked her, then it can't be a reminder to always ask in the future. Is there a Big Dance coming up or something? Is this in fact a campaign for guys to get over their shyness and ask her out?" So campaign against date rape or an exultation to go to the Big Dance. I don't think this campaign is working. So what does "Ask Her" mean?

Little B turns 3 tomorrow. He's getting old. I think it was right around this time that I got a voice mail message from N saying that there's a problem and they are going to induce in the morning as a precaution, so she is gone to the hospital. I then had to call the Ob/Gyn to sheepily ask, "ummm, hi my wife says she's having a baby and is in the hospital, so can you tell me which hospital?" There was a slight chuckle on the other side, but I think I wasn't the first to call with such a question. (To people who think this means I was just completely uninvolved with my wife's life and pregnancy, she had been in a big hospital in Nashville for a few weeks previously for precautionary measures, so I didn't know if she had headed off there again or to the local one; it was local. Also, there were no serious problems for either N or B, if the above sounded ominous. I just decided I didn't want to discuss actual medical issues on the blog. If N wants to discuss the pregnancy online, she can, but I won't make that decision for her. And I mean the old pregnancy that resulted in B, there is no B 2 on the way at the moment.)

Also, I need people's input on socially appropriate behavior in grad school. So, in my psycholinguistics class, we are supposed to email in questions about the day's reading before class. The professor also encouraged us to use the email list to answer each other's questions. Now today's article, the first one, happened to be on a topic that I took an entire course on last year (Parallel Distributed Processing models of language), so I am actually relatively knowledgable on this topic. So I did what the Prof said and wrote several paragraphs answering some of the questions that had come in. So the question is, did I just commite a social faux pas and will be perceived as some sort of blowhard show-off who thinks he has all the answers? Or will people actually like to read answers to their questions not from a prof? I guess I don't particularly care either way, but I was curious.


Killer Llama said...

You would be considered a know-it-all blow hard if you were an undergrad. But I think grad students can often learn as much from their peers as from their teacher. So I wouldn't worry about it. If someone does have a problem with it, who cares? It would be their problem, not yours.

naughtyloki said...

My only problem with the know-it-all blow hard type as an undergrad was that they were generally wrong. Seems there may be an inverse correlation between the desire to expound upon a topic and actual knowledge of said topic. Of course, the same could be said for some of my professors. I especially loved the English professor that had us combining cotton.

Anonymous said...


Members of the Kappa Sigma fraternity used the "Ask her" campaign at our local university last year to try raising interest during the fraternity's open recruitment period. The inherent question was something to the effect of "ask her if she knows the value of a Kappa Sigma man...."

I suspect the same national fraternity or another group is trying the same approach and it's working - it motivated you to blog about it!

Jake Brumfield

kristybox said...

Hey Jake! Didn't know you read this blog.

Paca - I agree with Loki. You don't know me, and you probably don't know Loki, but you'll rare ly see me totally agree with him! :) The point is, I never get annoyed, even in law school, by people who get things right. It's the ones who think they know everything and get it wrong all the time that drive me crazy. Even in law school, I never hesitated to say the complete, accurate answer, or, just as frequently, I have no idea! Freaked the other freshman law students out, because you DON'T say that to a law school professor. I guess the professors knew that I was prepared and usually had the right answer, though, because they seemed to appreciate the "I don't know" over the totally wrong guesses of my classmates. Also, if it was just an educated guess, I would clarify that, so that no one used my answer in their outline and subsequently got something wrong on the exam.

pacatrue said...

First, looks like Jake was right. I never saw the whole Ask Her campaign played out, but UH only has one frat, I think, for some strange reason, and it is indeed Kappa Sigma.

I read a couple blogs by people currently in law school. I ended up discussing with them the interesting fact that usually it is the older student, who have some substantial non-academic experience, (or maybe just maturity), that freely admit ignorance. I will happily admit "I don't know" all the time and feel no embarrassment. I don't know if it is because I realize there is an outside life that I could participate in, and that a grade is really not all that, or what. Now, I work my ass off so that I don't have to say it much, but if I don't know, I'm not going to pretend.