Friday, February 23, 2007

"Compared himself to a flight recorder..." - Llama

Everyone should know I'm a Titans fan. The Tennessean, in an article on the team's strategy in the up coming draft, introduced a quote by Mike Reinfeldt, the new General Manager, this way:

"Mike Reinfeldt, the new GM, compared himself to a flight recorder."

Now if you are like me, you are scratching your head. How can a GM be like a flight recorder? Then they proceed with the quote:

"It is kind of a black box," he said. "They won't have any track record of what I've done in the past. I think we can do what we need to do and people won't be that good at predicting us. That might be helpful. At the same time we need to make the right choices."

OOOOhhhhh, THAT'S how it's like a flight recorder... because a flight recorder is a black box that doesn't allow the tracking of information. Oh, wait, that's not right... a flight recorder's entire purpose of existence is to track and report on information... Perhaps (and I'm going out on a limb here), Mr. Reinfeldt's analogy was meant to imply that his intentions are inscrutable, just like you can't tell what's inside a "black box;" and that it has nothing at all to do with a flight recorder.

I make more than my share of stupid mistakes... but this is a professional reporter! He gets paid in part because of his command of the written word! Doesn't he realize that his analogy makes no sense?

Inspired by this reporter, allow me to suggest some other items that Mr. Reinfeldt might have intended by the phrase "like a black box."

Mike Reinfeldt, the new GM, compared himself to satellite receiver.
to a voting machine
to a Blackberry
... to a Prince/Jayzee/Metallica album
to the Mars Rover
... to a chemical toilet
to Dick Cheney

Ok, admittedly, that last one is a bit of a reach... let me clarify:

Darth Vader is like a black box... Dick Cheney is like Darth Vader... therefor, Dick Cheney is like a black box!



pacatrue said...

Speaking of the Titans, it's sounding like time to boot Pacman Jones off the team. Previously, he goes to all these local Nashville clubs where he's prone to get taunted or otherwise pissed off and into fights so that he ends up getting assault charges. He next promises to make better choices so that he doesn't put himself into situations which beg for trouble. And then next thing you know he's apparently tossing thousands of dollars in cash up into the air at a strip club in Vegas and getting mad when people dash for the money and, well, guns appear to have been drawn and shot.... It doesn't sound like he's learning.

Killer Llama said...

It's a shame, too, because he's probably the best player on defense... if he's behind anyone, it's Bullock. He, as much as Vince, was responsible for the Titan turnaround last season.

The Tennessean mentioned Jamal Lewis and Ray Lewis, about how those guys had a criminal past and went on to respected NFL careers. The difference with Jones is that he is making those mistakes now... how long will the team have to wait for him to grow up?

I don't know... I guess he should get booted, but you know where ever he lands he's gonna be a difference maker. And when he does grow up, assuming he stays out of jail, he'll probably be one of the best. Hard to cut that kind of talent.

Anonymous said...

Well, Llama, as to the efficacy of the writer's language, it all boils down to my unifying theory of modern life. After paying very close attention to the writings and speech of those around me, I have have come to the informed conclusion that well over half of the American populace is not only functionally illiterate (and proud of it), but most likely also retarded. A large chunk of our compatriots are working on a similar level to a very bright German Shepherd. As days go by, I find myself wanting to quote Hermione J. Granger: "Honestly, doesn't anyone read?" Sorry for the pessimism, but you just wouldn't believe the people they're letting into nursing school these days, and I have to sit in class with them and try not chastise or laugh.


Anonymous said...

Ha! And I must include myself with the German Shepherds, as I accidentally posted a statement with subject/verb disagreement. I'm mortified.