Saturday, April 07, 2007

I knew it was their fault all along (paca)

Vindication! Yes, all right thinking people knew it all along. My family was the innocent one and the McCoys were all craaaazy. But now we have proof. Proof, I tell you! Apparently doctors have been tracing a genetic syndrome in the McCoy family line for many years which can cause pounding headaches, high adrenaline, and bad temper.

Notice that it's the McCoys who have this syndrome. Not my family.

The McCoys are a bunch of unreasonable maniacs, clearly. And we are innocent and simply reacting to provocation. OK, maybe we reacted to provocation with shot guns and shootouts, but you know they started it! So, we win.

Ah, the sweet smell of revenge - in a Yahoo AP slice of life article kind of way.

Only once in my life, despite hearing jokes since I was 6, have I ever met a McCoy. The llama and I were in a bowling alley, I believe, and the person ahead of me was named McCoy. I don't remember how, but the McCoy should have heard my last name. And so, being me, I said something like, "So we meet at last" or "Finally, in the end, it comes to this." He didn't chuckle; he didn't have a witty retort; he didn't even smile; he didn't even challenge me to a bowling round. No, he just walked away without a word.

That's the kind of McCoy behavior which begets fightin'. Where's my shotgun? I done been provoked!

Disclaimers (to be read really fast): Despite sharing a name with the famous feud, my grandmother has traced my family back past the Civil War in Mississippi and so we have no actual relationship to the Feud. Also, I am being completely tongue in cheek in the above. Having a disease which causes high blood pressure and can kill eventually is in real life quite serious and I hope that good medical care is provided to all with such a disease. I would happily sit around a campfire with my McCoy brethren and roast marshmallows and sing Kum-ba-yah. Or a better song. But only after you've all been searched for weapons, because I don't trust ya one lick.

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