Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What it's like to have a four year old 2 (paca)

I previously wrote up a little dialogue between myself and B about his bath time. to give the single folks an idea what it's like having a child. Here is another snippet from my life.

The players? Paca, wonder-dad, alpha male extraordinaire, silly man with a blog. B, 4 year old, wonder-son, true master of the household, cute little boy with a Clifford dog.

Scene. Long's Drugs. (There is essentially only one drugstore in Hawaii - Long's. No Eckerds, no CVS, not even a Walgreens. Long's appears to be a California chain.) In the parking lot. Night.

PACA and B emerge from their golden Echo and start towards the entrance.

Paca: We are looking for medicine for a headache.

B: Oh-no. Belt fell down!

B is wearing an adult belt that is far, far, far too large for him. It's been wrapped around him twice and then wrapped a couple times around itself. But the belt has fallen down. Paca lifts it back up and wraps it around the boy again.

Paca: There you go.

B: (beaming) I wear a belt like you! Like Daddy!

Paca: (beaming too): Yes, you are. Just like your daddy.

B: B is like daddy! I'm big now too!

Paca: (smiling, ahh, this is what it's like to be a dad; best thing ever) Yes, you are getting so big. Let's go inside.

Scene 2. Inside a large commercial drug store. Night but all is brightly lit with flourescents. Elevator music plays softly.

Paca: I think the headache medicine is over here.

B: Oh no! Belt fell down!

Paca: (chuckling) Oh no! Let's fix it. (pulls belt back up and wraps around again)

B; Thank you.

Paca: You're welcome.

B: I'm big!

Paca: That's right. (Paca and B move down an aisle a couple steps.)

B: Oh no! Belt fell down.

Paca bends down examining it; tries to pull it tighter, wraps it around itself three times.

Paca: There you go.

Paca and B take a couple more steps.

B: What's this?

Paca: Macadamia Nuts. Yummy.

B: Buy some.

Paca: No, not today.

B: Chocolate ones.

Paca: Not today. We just need to buy medicine today.

B: Oh no! Belt fell down!

Paca: (sighing) Yes, it did. Let me fix it again. (tries to fix it, but it's the same thing as last time.) C'mon, let's go.

Paca and B proceed to the medicine aisle and Paca grabs some ibuprofin.

Paca: Here we go.

B: Medicine make you better.

Paca: I hope so.

B: And batteries and an ice pack. You need new batteries.

Paca: Yep. Let's go pay the money.

B: Oh no! Belt fell down!

Paca: Why don't we just take it off for now?

B: No, I'm big like you.

Paca: I know, yes, you are. I just want to leave the store some time today.

B: It's night.

Paca: I don't think it was when we put that belt on.

B: Fix it.

Paca: I've tried. It's just too big for you.

B: I'm like Daddy.

Paca bends over and fixes the belt yet again.

B: Yay, fixed.

Paca: Yep. Let's go pay the money.

(6 more steps.)

B: Oh no!

Paca: Look, the belt's just too big. You can't wear it right now. You can wear it at home.

B: Fix it.

Paca: I've tried. It's just not going to stay up and we have to get to the front of the store. (explaining with false patience) Let's just take it off now and go pay the money.

B: No.

Paca: OK, fine. No, actually, no, it doesn't work. You can't walk with a belt around your ankles. I'm taking it off.

B: That's not nice.

Paca: I know. I'm the evil troll under the bridge. (thinking, no, this is what it's like being a dad.)

B: What's that?

Paca: Pine Sol.

B: For drinking.

Paca: I'm thinking about it suddenly. I mean, no, not for drinking.

B: You're a troll.

Paca picks up B with the belt dangling from him.

Paca: Totally troll here.

B: Who's that triptrapping over my bridge?

Paca: It's me, tiny goat....

(Ok, ok, i took a couple liberties in telling this story.)


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